This is awesome.

For those wishing to apply as ninjas, please fill out the following form.

SECTION A: General Information

Name: Sumaes Mahrog
Age: ???

1. Are you an orphan?
_Yes
XNo
_No, but my father is dead.
_No, but my mother is dead.
_No, but my family hates me.

2. Check one:
_Male
_Female
XHard to tell

(If you selected female, skip the following question.)

3. Do you have amazing latent ninja powers?
XYes
_No
_I’m not sure.

(If you are unsure, we will be willing to provide a free examination.)

4. Would you like to have a mentor/father figure?
_Yes
XNo, I’m too aloof, cynical and/or untrusting.
_No thanks, I don’t really need one.
_I’ll take several, please!

5. Are you possessed?
XYes (select one)
_fox demon
_sand demon
_Orochimaru tattoo on shoulder
_temporarily possession by Ino
Xunidentified
_No
_No, but my friends think I am.
_No, my eyes are like this naturally.
XI possess others!

6. Do you have spiky hair?
_Yes
XNo
_I don’t have hair.

SECTION B: Specific Information
This section is designed to see if your personality is compatible with the Way of the Ninja. Your answers may also affect your village placement.

1. What is your reason for existence? (Select all that apply.)
_Revenge.
_Ramen.
_Killing everyone.
_Being creepy.
_Being a love interest.
_I live for ______(name)!
_HOKAGE!!! (Becoming one, that is…not the actual Hokage.)
XI live purely to annoy everyone.
_Taking over ______(place).
_I’m not telling.
_I have great hair.
_The team needed a third person.
_The team needed a token girl member.
_Training orphaned ninjas.
XSwathing myself in bandages.
_To defeat ______(name)!
_Angst.
_To become strong.
_For people to make fun of my eyebrows/lack of eyebrows.
_They needed a replacement referee.
_Attracting more female/male viewers.
_How should I know!?
_Someone needed a rival.
XWielding large weaponry.
_Recreational puppetry.
_Wearing fishnet.
_Wait, I need a reason?
_Saying “chou” a lot.
_The main characters needed someone to defeat.
_SASUKE-KUUUUUN!!!
_Food.
XPorn.
_Sasuke porn.
_Reasons are too much trouble.
_Getting killed, apparently.
_Wearing ungodly amounts of mascara.
_To explain, during pauses in battle, what a more important character has just done.
_They needed a 20th person for the reaction shot.
_Yelling others’ names.
_If I were to die, who would take care of my pet(s)?
XCough syrup tastes good.
_I can’t die until I find my eyebrows!
_To have a manga named after me.
XThere is no reason.

2. What are your hobbies? (Select all that apply.)
_Training.
_Training others.
XFighting.
XKilling.
XSpying.
XEating.
_Eating ramen.
_Arranging flowers.
XReading porn.
XWriting porn.
XResearching porn.
_Being perpetually ill.
_Plotting revenge.
_Frolicking with animals/bugs.
_Doing my hair.
_Stalking Sasuke.
XStrapping strange objects to my back.
_Recreational puppetry.
XAcupuncture.
_Frowning.
_Glaring.
_Playing board games.
_Collecting cow-themed ninja wear.
XTransforming into a naked chick.
XInvading other villages.
XGiant swords.
XGiant fans.
_Medicine.
_Having flashbacks.
XCrashing through windows.
XChewing on a stick.
_Psychology.
_Makeup.
Xnail polish
Xface paint
_mascara
_lipstick
XPessimism.
XPissing others off.
XSwallowing inanimate objects that should not be swallowed.
XSleeping.
_Losing.

3. Which of the following weapons would you include in your ninja arsenal? (Select all that apply. Abilities with * are heavily restricted, and you may not qualify.)
_Kunai. (Duh.)
XSword, curved.
XSword, giant.
XScythe, small.
_Shuriken, small.
_Shuriken, frickin’ huge.
_Senbon (needles), plain.
_Senbon (needles), with bells.
_Sharingan.*
_Byakugan.*
XMy teeth.
XA big stick.
XLeprosy.
_Animate sands of death!*
_Icy mirrors of death!*
_Giant fan of death!
_Bugs of death!*
_A life-size puppet. Of death!
XEntering the opponent’s brain.* Of…wait.
_My pet(s).
_Sound itself!! (Note: Those assigned to Sound only.)
_My shadow.*
_Hand gestures, seals.
XHand gestures, impolite.
_Lots of copies of me.
_Hallucinations.
_Infectious cough.
_Stretchy appendages.
XMy crafty brain. (Note: Best effect when used by smart people.)
_ I don’t need weapons, I’ll just crush them with my body!*
XMy fists are weapon enough!
_Arm implants.
_I’ll poke their eye out with my hair!
XSheer sexiness.
_Cool scrolls.
XThis rock I just found.
_Sheer effort.
XEverything I can get my hands on.
_Running away.
_I am a pacifist, and don’t believe in weapons.
XOther people.
_Lots and lots of chakra.
XGlowy things.
_Other (be creative!): _______

4. Which of the following would be part of your ninja wardrobe? (Select all that apply. Note that a headband is mandatory, and will be provided upon qualification.)
_A casual jacket.
_A olive-green ninja vest with lots of pockets.
XBandages.
XMouth covering.
XPants.
_Giant shorts.
_Anything bright orange.
XFishnet.
_Cow-themed ninja wear.
_Leg kunai holster.
_An extra head.
XGeta.
_Flat wooden sandals.
_Modern blue sandals.
XEarrings.
_Makeup.
Xnail polish
_face paint
_mascara
_lipstick
_Clown pants.
_Big striped hat.
_Overalls.
XA sash.
XA scarf.
XConical straw hat.
_Helmet.
_Glasses.
XChinese shirt.
_Hair bun(s).
XGiant cloak.
_Hokage-wear, complete with giant hat.
_Enormous purple bow.
XAnything with the Kanji for “death” on it.
_Mask, cool-looking.
_Mask, dumb-looking.
_Mask, kitty.
_Pink kimono.
_A haystack.
_Other (Please draw):

5. People describe me as:
_Energetic.
_Annoying.
_Ambitious.
_Hard-working.
_A jerk.
_Evil.
_Nice.
_Shy.
_Weird.
_Scary.
_Vaguely creepy.
_Quiet.
_Loud.
_Violent.
_Funny-looking.
_A pervert.
_Short.
_Large.
_Cool.
_Knowledgable.
_Lazy.
_Stupid.
_Androgynous.
_Motivational.
_Pessimistic.
_Strict.
_Sexy.
_Ill.
_Dead.
XThey Don't.

6. Write an essay of exactly 500 words explaining your motivation for becoming a ninja. Include a paragraph about the person who most inspires you to be a ninja. The phrase “Sasuke-kun” may not be used.

No. You don't deserve to know.

7. Write an essay, of any length, describing every bad thing that has ever happened to you. Include flashbacks. Bonus points will be given for symbolism.

...<_< >_> <_<

Thank you for completing your application for ninjahood. Please drop it of with the nearest Chuunin, and we will get back to you in 2-3 weeks. If you are pursuing the Homeless Orphan option, drop your application on the cold, unforgiving ground and we will send your mentor out to meet you.